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Joke of the Day

"Her: You have a cigarette machine in your kitchen? Me: Well it would look ridiculous in the living room..."

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"How many ants does it take to rent a house? Ten ants. ^lol"
"Hey baby, forget Netflix and chill Let's Imax and climax"
"My girlfriend makes me want to be a better man So I can get a better girlfriend"
"Did you know that pi day is tomorrow? I didn't, because there have been 0 sines"
"Just saw a bumper sticker that completely changed my belief systems."
"I went to see a movie about Beethoven... it was du-du-du dull, du-du-du-dull."
"I'm one of those people that no one warned you about."
"I wish someone would leave a horse's head in my bed so that when my kids sneak up on me in the morning, I can be like, BAM, horse's head."
"I need feminism.. ..because I've never heard a 'dumb blond' joke about a man!"
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