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Joke of the Day

"Man goes into the store... ...and he's quite startled by what he sees. The clerk has these great bushy eyebrows. Horrified, the man stutters, ""Can eyebrows your inventory?"""

"My neighbors dog barks unbelievably loud... ... so I asked him to train his dog to bark at a more believable level."

"Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes? A: No eye-deer."

"I ate two pieces of string yesterday. Today I pooped them out and they were tied together.. ..I shit you knot."

"What's the definition of an african-american? Proof that skunks and monkeys fuck."

"Then there was the guy who fell into a vat of molten optical glass after drinking too much. Just two glasses, and look what a spectacle he made of himself."

"When abroad, James Bond is known as +44 07."

"Why are bananas never lonely? Because they hang around in bunches."

"Why doesn't God want to argue with Satan? Because Satan has more politicians to help him."

"The bartender poured me a scotch and asked me what I thought of it. I told her it was neat."