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Joke of the Day

"""The secret is that it's all in the wrist!"" -My grandfather talking about golf or handjobs or something"

"The Counselor was greeting the new campers. 'So you decided to come to camp' she said to one. 'Nope' the camper answered. 'I was sent to camp!'"

"I'm not judging you, I'm just trying to guess what medications you're on."

"What do you get when you cross a cat and an octopus? An Octopussy."

"*i before e except after c. Unless you're an 8yo heir planning a heist to seize a surveillance sleigh owned by a sheik at a reindeer farm."

"Apparently I've switched to a mobile carrier named ""Searching..."""

"Why do church bells never send e-mails? They'd rather give each other a ring."

"I once met an Indian bloke in Birmingham and his name was Naan. He wasn't born here, but he was bread."

"What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor? My erection."

"Never doubt a Woman with an extensive vocabulary."