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Joke of the Day

"Phone Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond! Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!"

"The whole ""Pavlov's Dog Experiment"" is such a load of bunk I'm sick of people bringing it up... ...at this point just *hearing* the name ""Pavlov"" makes me mad."

"What do you call a Private Investigator who is bad at his job? A Defective!"

"So Samsung released a new knife! Its brand new cutting-edge technology"

"Please listen closely... Attention: Tonight I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses WWII and Wednesday comes *after* Tuesday."

"My preferred method of birth control is ""mood-killing repetitive DVD menu."""

"not to brag but i finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes."

"Why does /r/jokes love fencing? They've all mastered the riposte."

"*slams fists on coffee table* WHAT WAS SCAR FROM LION KINGS NAME BEFORE HE GOT THE SCAR"

"Are you guys alright? No you are all left."