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Joke of the Day

"I just remembered the fuck outta The Alamo."

"Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall. One turned to the other and said ""Hello."" The other one thought ""I wonder what he meant by that."""

"Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter? He'll be Snowden."

"You can't run in a campground You can only ran because it's past tents."

"Hey, we never talked in high school! Let's be Facebook friends so we can once again never talk! JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!"

"What do you call a Gay Dinosaur? A Megasaurus"

"Being a prostitute is like being the heel piece of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but no one really wants you."

"Gold Medal What's better than winning a gold medal at the special Olympics? Not being retarded!"

"Currently searching the want ads for a place that will pay a good salary for me to just curl up in a ball and give up."

"The best thing about being Bane has gotta be that he can just slice a hardboiled egg straight into his pie hole"