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Joke of the Day

"Hey, we never talked in high school! Let's be Facebook friends so we can once again never talk! JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!"

"Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it's all heart. "

"What do you call a confused Asian person? Disoriental."

"I tried to kill a spider by drowning it in douche and now it keeps picking fights with me on social media"

"What does a blonde and a tornado have in common? They both start blowing but in the end they take everything from you."

"Why do squirrels swim on their back? to keep their nuts dry."

"Damn girl, are you my accounting class? Because you really need more curves."

"USA has Democracy, Syria has Autocracy, Iran has Theocracy, and Britain has... Pedocracy."

"What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table? Gilles de la gourmette"

"9/11 jokes are not funny guys.. The other 2, however, are hilarious!!"