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Joke of the Day

"Me: My father's name is LAUGHING and my Mother's name is SMILING. Teacher: You must be Kidding? Me: No, that's my brother. I'm JOKING."

"I got a job at the zoo circumcising elephants the pay isn't great but the tips are enormous."

"Think you know guilt? *takes long drag on cigarette* I'm the wildebeest who killed Mufasa. *exhales* I hear Simba's screams every night."

"rubbish invention I made a sandal for people with only one leg. it was a flop."

"What did Jesus say to Peter? Hebrew"

"You can't run through a campground... ...you can only ran, because it's passed tents."

"Friend ran in the Boston Marathon, He said he had a blast but can't feel his legs."

"It surely can't be a coincidence that Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog share the same middle name"

"Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved. Assistant: Why don't you marry her? Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient."

"Do you know why the Easter Bunny hides his eggs? Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's been FUCKING CHICKENS!!!"