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Joke of the Day

"Who's the coolest guy at the hospital? The ultra sound guy. Who's the coolest guy when he's not around? The hip replacement guy."

"What do you call a compliant volcano? A volcayes."

"I just got a great deal on a Ray Rice jersey The price couldn't be beat"

"What happened to the native man that drank 23 cups of tea? He went home and drowned in his tea pee."

"locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other day. It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger"

"What do you do when an elephant comes in your window? You swim!"

"What did one asbestos tile say to the other asbestos tile? Your my asbestos friend"

"Is your refrigerator running? Because if so, I might vote for it."

"DRIVING ON HIGHWAY Wife: You just missed a right. Me: Thanks babe you just MRS right."

"Me: Wanna go out? Her: You're not Black Me: I'm Jewish. We've been persecuted more than them. Her: ... Me: That's not why you like them?"