166648

Joke of the Day

"If you're going to do something illegal don't plan it through Facebook Do it somewhere private where no one will see you, like google+."

"What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Consuelo Pronounced - Cunts-way-low"

"It's easier to find the needle in the haystack when you bring a flamethrower. That's a fact, jack. Merica."

"""Half a dozen"" because saying 6' is way too long..."

"Two atoms in a pub Two atoms meet in the pub. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.' The second atom with a strong British accent asks, 'Are you sure?' The first one replies, ' yes I'm positive.'"

"I saw a middle aged man staring at a picture of his very first steps. With tears in his eyes, he told me he regrets ever replacing the steps with an elevator."

"Why are fleas never happy? They're in-fur-iated."

"My grocery store changed its whole layout. It was better the other way so I'm slowly and quietly moving everything back."

"Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand."

"Unless you've studied Nazism at a Nazi university and you've read Mein Kampf (in German), your criticism of Nazism isn't valid -Nobody ever"