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Joke of the Day

"WHO LET THE CATS OUT? Mew. Mew. Mew. Mew. WHO LET THE CATS OUT? Mew. Mew. MRRROOW! HSSSSS! MRRROOW! HSSSSS! FUCK! HE'S AN INSIDE CAT!"

"The wife came home last night and asked ""Is there anything on tv?"" I said ""yeah,dust!"" And then the fight started."

"I don't often get suspicious,but squirrels rubbing their tiny hands together? I worry they won the lottery & hired a good hit & run attorney"

"I wrote on my stereo in marker that this is the loudest stereo of all time. I was stereotyping"

"Never understand when someone says, ""cats are snobby."" Like dogs are constantly inviting you & the kids over for burgers & a swim?"

"In what kind of accident will you lose both your hands and your eyes? An accident you cant quite come to grips with because you never saw it coming."

"What do you call an exploding monkey? a BA-BOOM!"

"Sarah Palin used ""refudiate"" in a sentence. I think she needs to studiate her vocabulade before she pontifitalks on the televade."

"Why is King Joffrey like a mattress? Two twins make a King."

"Going to a party tonight, but keeping it mellow. One or two glasses of cocaine and that's it."