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Joke of the Day

"Dang girl. Are you a werewolf... Cause I'm lycan what I see."

"I started carrying a gun after an attempted mugging a few years ago Since then my muggings have been much more successful."

"I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent.. That's a bad place for an argument. Because then I tried to walk out and slam the flap."

"What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're deep in shit."

"Which eggs are the best for Easter? Empty ones ( )"

"Mexico is starting to build a wall They're worried about the Americans crossing the border when Trump is elected."

"What kind of car does a pirate drive? A Yarrrrrrrrris."

"MANAGER: You're hired! The pay is $200 per hour, plus benefits. The first thing you need to do is make a phone call to-- ME: I quit"

"What do you call a Salmon that sets a good example? A roe model."

"One of my friends went up to my Portuguese dad.... and asked ""You're Portuguese, right?"" He said ""No, I'm Portugoose. There's is only one of me"""