166588

Joke of the Day

"Zelda Williams came over my house and stormed out in a rage... All I did was ask her ""How's it hangin?"""

"How do you re-use a condom? Turn it inside-out and shake the fuck out of it."

"Why was the lion alone and disheartened? He lost his pride in a bet"

"I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50. So I said, ""Give me two boys and a girl."""

"1+1=3 It does take about 9 months though"

"A Girl once asked me how I view Lesbian relationships... I told her ""In HD"". Apparently that was not the right answer"

"What does a nosey pepper do? I gets ""jalapeno"" business!"

"Current anger level: I am last-beer-in-the-fridge-turns-out-to-be-a-soy-sauce-bottle angry."

"The 9-year-old in me thinks life is all about fun. But then I think, how long is it gonna take to digest this kid? I'm a huge python, btw."

"If the light turns green & the guy behind you honks cause he thinks you're taking too long to go get out & start checking your tire pressure"