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Joke of the Day

"Empty out and clean a mace container. Fill with water Stare into the eyes of your enemies as you spray your own eyes and never blink"

"Did you know Thailand has a military? It does a good job of separating the ladyboys from the ladymen."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You only need one nail to hang a picture! Happy Easter!"

"A Clock wrote a book Critics say its about time"

"What kind of dog is the smartest? A great brain!"

"Most women would be happy to be woken up on their birthday with breakfast in bed, flowers and 20 minutes of great oral sex! But Oh no! Not my sister!"

"If they took all the money spent on making Godzilla movies, they could've probably just made an actual Godzilla by now."

"They tried to record the Juno Satellite launch, but their computers were outer space. Outer. Space."

"Where does a shoulder work? In the army."

"A solid knife fighting strategy is to move clockwise in increasingly larger circles until you reach a safe running distance."