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Joke of the Day

"I'm so bad at philosophy.... .....I Kant even"

"So I asked my North Korean friend how it was there... he said he couldn't complain."

"What do you call an anorexic lady with a yeast infection? A Quarter Ponder with Cheese."

"Being married vs being gay: Either way you're going to have somebody stuck up your ass."

"I'll be shaking hands with business people in front of a globe today if any stock photographers want to make some easy cash."

"What's the most difficult thing about roller-blading? Telling your parents that you are a faggot!"

"Me: I LOVE Pokemon Go! Him: Are you just collecting caterpillars and putting them in your purse?! Me:"

"I have the heart of a lion.. .. and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo."

"I took a girl back to my flat. ""You haven't removed many bras have you?"" she sighed. ""What gave it away?"" ""The scissors, mainly."""

"If I freeze, it's not a computer virus. I was just stunned by your beauty."