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Joke of the Day

"I burned 1000 calories by lighting my arm on fire"

"What does Dr. Oz do when you throw scientific evidence at his head? Ducks like a quack."

"Why did 10 die? He was stuck in the middle of 9/11."

"A cabbage and a carrot get into a race, who wins? The cabbage, it's a head"

"Adding Up by Juan & Juan"

"What's the difference between au jus and a jew? Au jus is boiled but a jew is baked."

"What kind of ears do trains have? Engineers (engine ears)."

"I nearly puked on my girlfriend, but she moved out of the way just in time She ducked my sick"

"[guy who named the bedroom gets home] Honey? Our son got in trouble at the learnroom. His teacher called while I was driving in my wheelsbox"

"I like to write all my death threat letters in Comic Sans. I find it lightens the mood."