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Joke of the Day

"Robin Williams jokes. God gave men both a penis and brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."

"Having no tattoos in 2014, is like having tattoos in 1967."

"A man once got his penis cut off he used to be a dick... now he is just nuts."

"[dropping kids off at school] ME: Ok, learn a lot today KIDS: But school doesn't start for another week ME: *speeding off* GOOD LUCK"

"I just got a new dog that's half Saint Bernard and half Pitbull He likes to save people and then kill them."

"Some people are here for laughs. Some for therapy. Some for sex. Me? I'm here to learn the difference between your and you're."

"There is no ""I"" in ""team."" But there's an ""I"" in ""Tim,"" and my friend Carlos pronounces it ""team."" So there."

"I remember 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with dad and left with mom."

"How to stop Facebook Live and Marketplace notifications: 1) Open Facebook app 2) Go to Settings 3) Throw your phone into a river"

"A cook married a hacker, on their first night. there is a cock and a hooker"