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Joke of the Day

"The M and the N are too close together on the keyboard, and now she wants to know why I keep calling her homey."

"This girl came up to me and asked if I remembered her from the vegetarian club... but I don't think I'd seen herbivore."

"Doctor asks a patient... Do you use drugs or alcohol? Patient: Nope, but I vape. Doctor: So a no for sexual activity?"

"""It seems like many polls are turning against you. How do you respond?"" TRUMP: They should be sent back to Poland. Very dangerous people."

"How do mathematicians become engineers? You just gotta apply yourself."

"Why did the vulture cross the road? To eat the dead chicken on the other side."

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance We'll see about that."

"A doctor reaches in his jacket for a pen.... and pulls out a thermometer. ""Oh great, some asshole's got my pen!"""

"What did the cook say to his wife? I'm cumin!"

"what do you call an arab vegatarian a muslim fondalentalist"