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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Buzz Lightyear was arrested? He was charged with battery."

"My Life get it, cause my life is a joke! *badum tisss*"

"I'm split on the topic of abortion.... On one hand I don't want to give women rights. But on the other hand I love killing babies."

"I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you're mistaken ...its pronounced sexy."

"I saw a charity appeal in the newspaper the other day, and it read ""Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water"". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move."

"I have decided to write all of my jokes in capitals from now on... This one was written in Tokyo."

"Emoji: because sometimes a chicken, the Spanish flag, and a lesbian couple is the only way to express how you really feel."

"I had a racist incident in my kitchen today.... The black bean soup started dissing the white cream sauce, I finally told them both to simmer down."

"What I've said most in 2016 Table for 1 please"

"I leant my Ferrari to my friend Carlos and never got it back."