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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn't 'funny' and is technically 'wasting' police time :("

"Curiosity should start overthrowing the local government and drilling for oil any minute now."

"How do you call Anakin Skywalker's padawan after getting tased by enemy? A shocked Tano."

"I wish life was like a bad hand of spades No Trumps . . . . . . . . . ...I'll see myself out."

"There was a blackout in the streets of Houston yesterday... Don't worry, the police have everything under control..... they shot him."

"How do Amish guys know if its a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?"

"Trunk dweeting. BRB"

"What do you call an amputee that can't answer riddles? Stumped"

"Two elephants jump off a cliff Boom, boom"

"Hello? 911? Could you warn the Byzantine empire that Leo VI is going to die next year and they should appreciate him while they can?"