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Joke of the Day

"The login input fields spend the night at a hotel. Password stays for breakfast. Username checks out."

"I was talking to a man today. He told me his name, ""**B**ernie **A**llen **D**avies."" My **initial** thought was that he was a **BAD** guy!"

"What did the stoner drop when he listened to dubstep? Salt."

"You know the jack in a box that scared the life out of you when you were a child? That's me as an adult cooking with my smoke detector"

"What's the best part of Chinese food? The 4/10 cookie"

"Budweiser is a lot like sex on the beach; It's fucking close to water."

"What does a half-dressed Sikh wear on his head? A subturban!"

"We are in the golden age of watching videos on your phone."

"How can a blind person tell if they're home? They check the architexture."

"[dog park] Dog: omg I just found out I'm adopted Other Dogs: [barking in shock]"