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Joke of the Day

"Tonight I'll be teaching a poetry class for prison inmates called ""Prose & Cons""."

"What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous movie director? Steven Spellberg!"

"What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? He died in his teepee"

"If you get raped... Then at least you know there is someone in the world who wants you."

"There's a new TV show on AMC about people who run away from grains and wheat. I hear they call it The Walking Bread."

"I'd be a more productive writer if the machine I use 2 write wasn't also the machine I use 2 find pics of celebrity nipples."

"6/6/14 Dear Diary - Today was really great. Got a job as an intern with the CIA and sent a cool tweet. 6/7/14 Dear Diary - Guantanamo sucks."

"Not to brag but my new mistress is a lingerie model. Ok, fine, mannequin. But she doesn't talk much and I like that."

"I would walk over Lego's for you."

"Inspirational Tweet: The journey of 1,000 miles begins with ""daaaaad I have to peeeeee"""