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Joke of the Day

"How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it while the other two argue about how old the old one is."

"My neighbor called me an old drunk which really offended me. I'm not that old..."

"What do you call a Muslim who always makes mistakes? Errorist"

"Teens: I was an idiot when I was a kid 20s: I was an idiot when I was a teen 30s: I was an idiot in my 20s 33: if only there was a pattern"

"Unemployed goal day 37: slide across random car hoods action movie style. And then run like someone is chasing me."

"I'm in that fun part of a relationship where everything is new and exciting and we are learning things about each other and I don't poop."

"I almost had to fight someone today after they hit me with a stick, but he walked away like he didn't even see me."

"In my math homework I was asked what's the difference a racist and a mathematician. I need help solving this equation, maybe one of you could ask one of your Asian friends for me?"

"So I have a pretty good fathers day joke Can't wait to tell my dad when he finally brings the milk home"

"I just read that Stevie Wonder is filing for divorce. I guess in the end, they just didn't share the same views!"