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Joke of the Day

"""Dude."" ""Dude."" ""Dude."" ""Dude."" ""Dude."" ""Dude."" ""Dude."" ""Dude."" ""Dude."" ""Dude."" ""Dude."" ""Dude."" - crickets (translated)"

"My daughter lost her 1st tooth today so I'm staying up all night to see The Rock in a tutu."

"Heisenberg is driving down the highway and gets pulled over by a cop... Cops says, ""Do you have any idea how fast you were going."" Heisenberg says, ""No, but I know exactly where I am."""

"You know, I'm really worried about future of Kickstarter with all this talk about cannabis legalization. Nobody wants to have to sift through even more half baked ideas."

"Two elderly couple who have Alzheimers just finished having sex Male : Was it good? Female : I can't remember Male : Who are you? Sorry for the formatting sent this via my phone"

"Hillary Clinton is going to be the first f president... ... Oops, I meant to say female but someone deleted the emale"

"What's squawky, worn out, and falls from foot easily? An old shoe... ...and Ronda Rousey"

"Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos? A: They make great anchors!"

"Parenting Tip: Place fake present under tree with unruly child's name on it and when he misbehaves toss it into the burning fireplace"

"I really think Miracle Whip lowered the bar for what constitutes a miracle."