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Joke of the Day

"i finally checked out chatroulette. i saw three fornicators, two masturbaters, and a partridge in a pear tree."

"I wasn't dancing. I was trying to connect to the wifi."

"Pravanth the Indian wife-beater punches his wife every night at 7 PM On the dot."

"What do you call a Sasquatch that is never on time? Not Yeti"

"The only double penetrating I'll ever do is eating the double stuff Oreo I just dropped into my coffee."

"16 sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by batman"

"The very first thing my 3yo daughter said to me this morning was ""I know how to start a fire!"" so nothing you guys say today can scare me."

"6yo: MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU 8yo: AND ALSO WITH YOU When their Star Wars obsession mixes with that time Nana took them to Catholic mass."

"Dr: it looks like you've contracted sumatta Me: what is that? Dr: what is what? Me: sumatta Dr [grits teeth]: say it together"

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? Because he was too far out, man"