165924

Joke of the Day

"Where do kids with ADHD go? To concentration camps."

"I'm against vaccination! Vaccines save lives and I'm against overpopulation!"

"My wife's a ventriloquist, which means she has the ability to complain about having to give me a blowjob whilst actually giving me a blowjob."

"The day I realized my cursing had gotten out of hand. ... was when I dropped the soap in the prison shower and screamed, ""Fuck me right in the ass!"""

"Dad: ""A little bird told me you are doing drugs"" Son: ""You're talking to birds, and I'm the one doing drugs?"""

"Ive decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn't want to do it at first, but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning."

"Silence is golden. Unless they're in the shower and you can't find their phone. In that case, silence is very very suspicious!"

"What's something you can drive, but also throw? A Fit!!!!!!!!!!"

"What would you have if all autos in the US were painted pink? A Pink Car Nation!"

"What's black and slides down Nelson's column? Winnie Mandela."