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Joke of the Day

"Plot twist: two birds kill YOU with one stone."

"I bought my dog a brand new flatscreen for his birthday today - I even had it engraved! TO SHIBA"

"*smashes into treehouse* Gimme all ur snacks! *kid reaches for cans on a string to make emergency call but I already snipped the string*"

"Weird Joke Q: Why did Godcreate man before woman?A: He needed a rough draft before he made a final copy."

"Did anyone see the new Irish gay pornstar? His name is Ryan Fitzpatrick"

"Do click bait titles actually work? Yeah, apparently Full credit to theodd1sout comic for this"

"What's the difference between your bonus, and your penis ? Your wife will always blow your bonus!"

"The greatest plot twist of all time is in the Bible where, halfway through, God suddenly turns out to be nice."

"I grew up poor . The end of the month was difficult money wise especially the 30 last days."

"Why are there no female necrophiliacs? Because dead guys can't spend money."