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Joke of the Day
"Plot twist: two birds kill YOU with one stone."
Next Joke
"[Destiny] Where do Year 1 Guardians buy their clothes? Twilight Gap *badum tsss*"
"Holy crap! This guy in the car next to me is absolutely losing his shit over ""My Heart Will Go On""...said the guy in the car next to me"
"A guy goes to the zoo but there is only one animal... It's a shih tzu."
"If vampires have no reflection, how come they have such neat hair?"
"A man goes to the doctors for a physical. The doctor says ""you have to stop masturbating"" The man replies ""why?"" The doctor responds ""because I'm trying to give you a physical"""
"In my next life, I'd like to come back as someone who has a life."
"what would Barack Obama be if he was a vegetable? Baroccoli"
"I'm not saying you're fat, but you should consider having CPR instructions tattooed on your chest."
"A Vietnamese couple found out they were expecting twins. It was a Nguyen Nguyen situation."