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Joke of the Day

"If you capitalize 'him' in your tweets I'm gonna automatically assume you're subtweeting god."

"I'm no gynecologist but I know a c*nt when I see one."

"little son knows How to scare parents? Dad: ""Can I see your report card, son?"" Son: ""I don't have it."" Dad: ""Why?"" Son: ""I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."""

"What is worse than raining cats and dogs ? Raining elephants !"

"*Food hits floor* Little Germs: ""Let's get it!"" King Germ: ""No!!! We must wait 5 seconds......"""

"Guys, the USA is looking pretty bad... I think its time for USB."

"Why did the snowman take his pants off? Because he heard the snow blower coming."

"George Michael is recording a song to help promote the end of sectarian violence in the Middle East. It's called ""I Want Your Sects."""

"THIS JUST IN!!!!! Corduroy pillows are making headlines........."

"Justin Bieber has grown a mustache. His transformation into a teenage mexican girl is now complete."