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Joke of the Day

"I popped my dad's viagra now I'm hard as a motherfucker"

"Shouldn't there have been ONE scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel's mom was like ""Why are you constantly in that old man's shed?"""

"People used to laugh at me when I would say ""I want to be an actor"" Now I'm the only one laughing"

"2 cannibals... ...are eating. One turns the other and says ""You know, I really don't like my sister."" The other cannibal replies ""Fine then, try the pot pie."""

"What do you call a black priest? Holy Shit."

"Why did the cab driver did not get time for his family? Because he was Uber busy."

"It must really suck to be an Atheist named ""Christian""."

"Dating tip: Don't do it, a disturbingly high percentage of people are actually flesh eating insects in human suits. Just stay home instead."

"My doctor is always whispering to me something about not sticking Q tips in my ears. I need a louder doctor"

"What's the difference between your mom and a condom? A condom wasn't on my dick last night!"