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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock Who's there A blond Blond who I'm just blond, does this seem like a joke? No, you're the joke :3"

"I went to the supermarket dressed as a classical composer... Somebody asked me what I was Chopin for."

"What animal do I respect most? The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them."

"So I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup today.. I'm expecting a massive vowel movement."

"Don't make fun of a fat girl with a lisp. I'm sure she's thick and tired of it."

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired ( )"

"A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ""Sorry we don't serve food here."""

"My wife said: ""Can my mother come down for the weekend?"" So I said: ""Why?"" And she said: ""Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already."""

"My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale... I gave her some bread crumbs and left her in the forest."

"What would The Beatles have been called if Ringo never joined? The Beatless"