165560

Joke of the Day

"Just got real sweaty because I started thinking about a babe in an ankle-length all denim overall dress"

"My dad annoyed my mom calling her ""Mother of 7"" until the day she called him ""Father of 4""."

"What happens when a frog's car breaks down? It gets toad away.."

"I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company. I'm now the main stake holder."

"It's uncomfortable talking about how i got my cat fixed last week... But sometimes you gotta call a spayed a spayed"

"A sexist, a racist and a homophobe walk into a bar Bartender: 'What will it be, Mr Trump?'"

"In the beginning there was nothing... Then God said ""Let there be light!"" And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. Edit: Credit to Ellen DeGeneris."

"I just purchased duct tape at the Dollar Store to fix all of the other shit I bought at the Dollar Store. Life is going exactly as planned."

"So my wife got a new sewing machine this week and I know what you guys are thinking.... ...sew what?"

"Q: Why do fish live in saltwater? A: Pepper makes them sneeze."