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Joke of the Day

"Not a catfish. Just behind on my lip waxing."

"I'm in a very dark place right now. Suggestions on getting these motion sensing lights in the public bathroom to come back on...?"

"What is it that separates humans from animals? The Mediterranean Sea"

"I added Michael J Fox as a friend on Instagram... He likes every single one of my photos."

"Memes This is my first post, make it good. I want memes"

"we dont serve time travelers here A time traveler walks in to the bar."

"What do you call a communnist sniper? A Marxman"

"Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite."

"*boss calls me into office* ""um but sir my name is--"" Be quiet you're ""into office"" now"

"If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life."