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Joke of the Day

"If life had a 'CTRL + ALT + DEL' option, you bet your ass I'd be hitting that thing about 14 times a day."

"The word for today is legs Go out and spread the word!"

"I'm sorry, I don't see why you can't have a crack house AND have it tastefully decorated."

"What do you call it when flu season comes early? Premature inoculation."

"Coworker: I need someone in the backfill position Brain: Do. Not. Say. Anything. Me: um hopefully you fill the gap soon Brain: oh dear"

"So a Jewish kid asks his dad for $30... His dad says, ""twenty bucks! What do you need ten bucks for?!"""

"What is the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I wouldn't pay $10 to watch a garbanzo bean."

"Why did the pig wear yellow coveralls? He split a seam in his blue ones."

"Today my girlfriend left me Because I have a Linkin Park obsession... ...But in the end it doesnt even matter..."

"What is it with lesbians? If they hate men so much, why do they dress like them? You never see a Jew dressed as a Nazi."