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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry, I don't see why you can't have a crack house AND have it tastefully decorated."

"All mushrooms are edible. ...Once."

"Q: What do the Starship Enterprise and Toilet tissue have in common? A: They both circle Uranus wiping out Klingons."

"At first I thought maybe HBO had another vampire show. Then I realized that's just what Steve Buscemi really looks like."

"What's the best fabric Softener to use on a cat? Pounce..."

"don't worry, if there's a third world war, the United States won't be involved because it's a first world country"

"One time I got so high that I accidentally got a job at McDonald's."

"What do you call 4 dicks tied together? An erectangle."

"I've done a lot of volunteer work for unwed mothers. Just helping them get their start."

"What do you call blonde girls in a wrapper? Airheads"