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Joke of the Day
"What kind of people should you stay away from? Trees. They're quite shady."
Next Joke
"An electron and a positron went into a bar and got totally annihilated."
"Walk up to the guy with a popped collar and spiked hair & say ""What's up, Chad?"" & he'll be all ""Whoa... How'd you know my name, bro?"""
"""Mommy, Mommy - I hate walking around in circles!"" ""Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor..."""
"Why didint Stalin like his new IPhone? It had a 5 year plan"
"Say no to drugs they might lower the price"
"My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I'm proud of him, I doubt he'll make a lot of sales in the backyard."
"My wifes birthday My wife asked me for something that went from 0-200 insanely fast. Bought her a pair of scales"
"This lady cashier asked me if I wanted it ""double bagged""...I said ""No, you're not THAT ugly..."" And that's why I'm not allowed in Target."
"FARMER: can I help you, sir? ME: this ain't my first rodeo, buddy FARMER: [narrows eyes] ME: ok maybe it is [climbs off sheep]"