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Joke of the Day

"""Well I should probably get off twitter. I have to be at work in 15 minutes and I haven't even showered yet."" - me and at least 100 of you"

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? ...Dr. Dre"

"We only have world peace today thanks to the tireless efforts of thousands of former beauty queens who didn't give up on their dreams."

"Whats the difference between a brown noser and a shithead? Depth Perception"

"Good ice-breaker How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice I'm.."

"Add 5 years onto your age That's how old you'll be in 5 years."

"What do Canadian women put behind their ears to attract men? Their ankles!"

"i once heard that in the old days, you received a last name based on your profession. if so, what the hell was John Hancock's career?"

"Irish joke So three Irish men walk out of a bar"

"So I decided to buy nineteen dollars worth of white guilt the other day... ...or as other people call it Twelve Years A Slave."