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Joke of the Day

"Just farted loudly outside my office before checking to see if anyone was nearby. Nobody was. It's called the #edge, & I am #livin on it"

"[NSFW] Bill Cosby at a bar When you add rookies to a cosmopolitan it becomes a cosbypolitan"

"What is a drug addicts favorite snack? Crack-ers"

"Do you remember the ""Hold a coke with your boobs"" challenge ? It was a trend a while back to promote awareness for breast cancer. I'm just glad a similar stunt wasn't pulled for prostate cancer."

"How To Avoid Dating You're too young for me. I'm too young for you. I don't date men my age. Okay, but after I finish my antibiotics."

"Why is Trump's suits made from the same material as panties? What else do you cover a cunt with?"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. He's not coming."

"Facebook: ""Hey why are you making dumb jokes?! Some of us are praying over here!"" Me: *backs away slowly* [My Twitter origin story]"

"I was dating a midget but it didn't work out. My parents and friends looked down on her. Bonus: It was a short relationship."

"How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had? He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi..."