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Joke of the Day

"I was dating a midget but it didn't work out. My parents and friends looked down on her. Bonus: It was a short relationship."

"How many american rugby fans does it take to change a lightbulb Both of them"

"are you a broken air freshener Because you aren't making any scents"

"I hope Rand Paul doesn't pick Scott Walker as his VP I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn. Edit: thanks for the gold! It's my first!"

"I'm not Madagascar, I'm just disappointedgascar"

"1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance ... The 5 stages of buying petrol."

"What do you call your girlfriend after a tough workout? Sorbet"

"How does moses make his coffee Hebrews it"

"I could be a morning person. If morning started around noon."

"I got tired of wearing my watch on my wrist.. So I tried attaching it to my belt instead.. man, that was a real waist of time."