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Joke of the Day

"I asked God for a bike... but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."

"Keith Ape makes his mother a sandwich. She takes a bite and cries with joy. ""This is amazing! What kind of sandwich is this?"" She asks. ""It cheese ma."""

"Why was the Moon in a bad mood? It was just going through one of its phases."

"The inventor of Gogurt has died. He would like you to open his urn along the dotted line and splatter half the ashes all over your shirt."

"I wonder if when a porn shop owner gets married, he accidentally tapes over his porn with wedding footage"

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef but you can't pee soup."

"I'm thinking of entering myself in a talent contest... It's a neat trick if you can do it --Barry Cryer"

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her pussy? Only 20% of the things that came out of her pussy were retarded. /r/imgoingtohellforthis ?"

"At last I've managed to find my girlfriend's G-spot! Who would have thought her sister had it all the time?"

"At a First Date Conversation At a first date: He: ""I work with animals every day!"" She: ""Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"" He: ""I'm a butcher."""