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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee, like I like my women... I don't like women."

"Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door."

"If ur late to an appt, just tell them u had another one, but were on time to that one. That way they associate you with punctuality"

"My mum must be such a bitch. Just found out she left us before I was born."

"There's so many political jokes on r/Jokes, I could build a wall out of them!"

"My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can't carry 23 items in my arms through the store."

"It's like my Mom always said FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:"

"Everyone on Reddit is nosey.. See. I told you.."

"The problem with psychotic cab drivers. They drive me crazy."

"*5 puts on shoes* Me: they're on the wrong feet. 5: but I can't... Me: can't..? 5 I don't have any more feet to put them on. Me: touche"