164876
Joke of the Day
"The best joke about vampires EVER Just kidding. They all suck."
Next Joke
"[overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that"
"""Roses are red, violets are blue, fuck you whore."""
"If what people thought of you, what you thought of yourself and who you really are ever met, the three of you wouldn't recognize each other."
"So the Disney alligator killed the 2 year old recently. I hope the alligator has a good time with the gorilla."
"Jim Henson's first job was operating The Godfather logo."
"Full disclosure: all my tweets with less than 3 favs were made by my intern."
"BREAKING: An egg. I'm making scrambled eggs."
"If We Need Someone To Run Our Country Based On Building A Buisness And Money We Have The Wrong Donald. We Need Ronald Mc'Donald."
"Why did the mathematician ignore the tan lady on the beach? He was too concerned with the tan gent."