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Joke of the Day

"A blonde was filling out an application form for a job. She promptly filled the columns entitled NAME AGE ADDRESS etc. Then she came to the column: SALARY EXPECTED. ''Yes.''"

"The first gay couple has married in Ireland. Please send best regards to Gerald Fitzpatrick who wedded Patrick Fitzgerald."

"What do you get if you cross a tall green monster with a fountain pen? The Ink-credible Hulk."

"I want to marry the smell of gasoline and have little gasoline smelling kids with it and spend the rest of my days smelling my family."

"What's worse than locking your keys in your car at the abortion clinic? When you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger."

"Santa goes to... Santa goes to your house, goes down your chimney, and watches you while you're asleep... And everyone adores him... I do it one time..."

"I wish I gave Darth Vader different last words. Before he died, I wanted him to mutter, ""I should have stuck to pod racing."""

"Whaat do you get when you cross a Swede and a Norwegian? A socialist who wants to be king!"

"Why couldn't Caligula get anything passed in the Roman Senate? His horse kept casting too many neigh votes."

"It's weird how many people at my office are named ""Hey."""