191958

Joke of the Day

"I love watching a bird of prey in flight, soaring through the--nevermind its a trash bag everything sucks"

"Whats the best part about twenty-three year old's. There's twenty of them"

"Don't ever let anybody outshine you in life. If that means arriving at someone's funeral in a casket, then so be it."

"Son: Can you teach me about fractions? Me: Sure. I love 2/3 of my children."

"Why is gigabit internet good for you? Because it's high in fiber! haha, I'll show myself out..."

"What did you do for Mothers Day yesterday? Mothers Day is this upcoming Sunday."

"A female midget FBI agent went undercover to bust a drug gang by sleeping with gang members. She was known as the Little Fed Riding Hood."

"Which actor is resting in pieces? Alan RIPman"

"What Did the Sadist Do to the Masochist? Nothing."

"IKEA has invented a half full glass for optimists, that can ALSO serve as a half empty glass for pessimists!!!"