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Joke of the Day
"Today's the day I finally get my shit togethe"
Next Joke
"What's a 6.9? Another great thing ruined by a period"
"Average jokes don't end how you think they... Median"
"What's the difference between Snow-men and Snow-women? Snowballs."
"Me: Shhh, your brother is still sleeping. 4yo: *runs upstairs CRASH JUMP ""Wake up!"" SLAM *runs back downstairs ""No, he's not."""
"If all the corner pieces of a cake are gone, I calmly pull the emergency icing out of my purse & frost the edges of an inside piece."
"Daddy, what do you think about abortion? Dad: ask your sister. But I don't have a.."
"What is the most surprised a cow can be?? UDDERLY SURPRISED! (Edit: UTTERLY to UDDERLY)"
"Why did the physicist throw out his shag rug? He assumed the lawnmower was a vacuum"
"Here's a joke for all you psychics out there..."