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Joke of the Day

"What function puts you in the danger zone The LOG^^^gins function!"

"Used to be a twin I used to be a twin. My mother has a picture of me when I was two."

"Why are campers so predictable? You know they're in tents."

"Why can't you play cards on a small boat? Because someone is always sitting on the deck."

"I was gonna say a joke about the disabled, but... it was lame."

"Everyone thinks its cute when a kid wants to be a pirate But when a Somalian kid says he wants to be a pirate it's a different story"

"I don't know why I bother going to the gym when I am so good at Photoshop."

"If I was a marriage counselor I would just make the couple look at a dating website for 20 minutes."

"I used to have to read my kids a bedtime story every single night until I started randomly killing off characters to amuse myself."

"if a child of mine is ever incredibly muscular at birth i would consider naming it XERXES in all caps like that"