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Joke of the Day
"Dad: ""Son, if you don't stop masturbating you're gonna go blind."" Son: ""I'm over here Dad."""
Next Joke
"Having friends is like having a Porsche... I'd really like to have a Porsche."
"I won a swimsuit contest the other day I ate 57 swimsuits"
"A man spread his late wife's ashes on the lawn... ...so he could still cut her at least once a week."
"Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus and a recovery room where they have clear print."
"*flexing arms* I'd like you to meet my two good friends, Sledge and- ""Hammer?"" Holy shit that's way cooler.. I was gonna say Sledge 2"
"Feed a man... Feed a man some fish he'll eat for a day. Feed a man some poison he'll eat for the rest of his life. Feed a man some fingers and he'll ask you to stop."
"Why did the Double A battery die after 5 years? It has two lower case a's"
"What's the difference between a male lawyer and a male prostitute? A male prostitute charges $20."
"What's another name for a ghost writer? A prose-titute."