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Joke of the Day

"Fixing my grandma's computer and I see that her search history is about seven various spellings of the name of the last guy I dated."

"So how is your sushi? Meh, it's all rice."

"Gaining weight when you are still owing me money is a sign of disrespect"

"Poker doesn't work well in Africa. There's just too many cheetahs."

"*watching a scary movie* 7 y/o daughter: They're just people in masks, right Dad? *blankets pulled over my head* ""Sure, if you say so"""

"""Your voice is so sexy. How can I direct your call, babygirl?"" --Smooth Operator"

"What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce? I did not see that coming."

"Why did the interrupting cow cross the road? MOOOOOO!!!!"

"TIL why my adopted daughter keeps screaming ""Reddit Gold"" Apparently there's this really popular movie with a hit song that kids just love."

"A farmer invested $10 million of his own money for a research on 'effects of Marijuana on cattle'. The steaks were high."