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Joke of the Day
"You don't realize just how eco-friendly clowns are until you think about how much they carpool."
Next Joke
"Timmy was a chemist's son. But Timmy is no more. What Timmy thought was H2O was H2SO4."
"[restaurant] ME: Do you have updog? WAITER: [sighs] No sir M: Ok, is this gluten free? W: No you have to pay for it M: Damn you're good"
"They don't bury an Amish man with his beard. They bury him with shovels."
"Dear white people: you stop Adam Sandler from making movies and we'll stop Eddie Murphy."
"RICK AND MORTY SEASON 3 RELEASED! Just not in this dimension.."
"You guys know any Sodium jokes? Na."
"[ants at a Def Leppard concert] *Pour Some Sugar on Me starts* Ant 1: Oh hell yeah I love this one Ant 2: Sugar is good for us and the queen"
"My wife phoned me, panting and breathless. ""Where are you?"" she moaned. ""I'm at the pub."" I replied. She said, ""I think the baby's coming!"" I said, ""Well, he won't get in. He's underage."""
"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff... Ba-dum-tss."