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Joke of the Day

"You know you're in for a rough Prostate Exam... ...when you get into ""position"" and, right after the doctor snaps his gloves on, the nurse leans forward and gives you the ""safe word"""

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"When anyone ask me to babysit, I ask if their kid is a ""mean drunk"" or a ""happy drunk."" Gets me out of it every time."
"What do you find in an empty nose? Fingerprints."
"How can the eurologist tell if he is looking at a man or woman? Well, there is a vast difference."
"There's no way smoking meth is as addictive or stressful as watching Breaking Bad."
"What's the difference between a triangle and Manchester United ? A triangle has three points"
"If the police police police police, who polices the police police? Police police police police police police."
"What's the best part about being a mute? It goes without saying..."
"What do amputees and cricket have in common? Stumps"
"Thought all these voices in my head meant I was crazy, but one of them is a therapist. And he says I'm fine."