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Joke of the Day

"And The Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" ...but John came in fifth and won a toaster."

Next Joke
 
"Looks like Subway finally has a good excuse for their footlongs being less than 12 inches Anything under 12 is better for Jared."
"FACT: You are having a birthday because Chuck Norris decided to let you live another year!"
"Heaven is like arriving at Disneyland. Hell is like still being at Disneyland three weeks later."
"If a crackhouse is filled with love, it becomes a crackhome.."
"My penis was in the Guinness book of world records. Then the librarian told me to take it out. hehehehehe"
"April showers bring May flowers, but do you know what May flowers brings? Pilgrims."
"My SO just left me for a guy with a conjoined twin. She says he's twice the man I am."
"Just complained to my girlfriend that my iPhone battery wasn't lasting more than 2 hours & it dawned on me that I'm white & totally spoiled."
"Panties are just overpriced wrapping paper."
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