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Joke of the Day

"There's nothing a floored gas pedal and cranked music can't cure."

"I once lived opposite a slaughterhouse. The view from my bedroom was offal."

"And on the third day, Jesus came back. Because he accidentally left one of his edge trimmers in my backyard."

"Did you hear about the guy who crashed his car into a tree? He wanted to see how much his Mercedes Benz"

"Why do ducks have webbed feet ? To stamp out forest fires !"

"What is the worst part about being socially anxious and trying to tell a joke to a group of people? You'll probably punch up the fuck line."

"Sure, I'll spend $5 on a cup of coffee, but I draw the line at paying 44c to have someone travel 3000 miles to hand deliver a letter for me."

"Why i love redheads? Because if roof is rusty it's always wet in basement."

"This florist doesn't even know anything about floors, and he's acting like I'm the stupid one!"

"I rather have an enemy who admits they hate me, instead of a friend who secretly put me down."